Friday, February 7, 2014

Another Start...


Boo Boo and Koby Bear,

Its time for a new adventure for us! This one I know is going to be a hard one but we can and will survive it.

Today I worked my last day as a funds clerk in Garrison. Monday morning I report to a new brigade and begin my journey in a FORSCOM unit. A unit that in my nearly 7 years in the Army I have never been to. Theres going to be challenges, long days, nights away from each other and possible deployment creeping up on us this summer. I want both of you to know that no matter how many days I may be away from you that I LOVE you both more than anything in this world. Im doing this all for us.

Our first challange will be in March, in a couple weeks mommy is going to be leaving on a bus for an entire month to do some training. Im dreading it, I dont want to be away from either of you. But I have to do it. You will be in the loving hands of your Yaya and Papa. I truelly cant thank them enough for all they have done for us! We'll take this journey little by little. Right now I dont want to think about anything beyond March. So I wont even blog about it.

Today when I stepped out of my office I took that deep breath, and stepped through to the next chapter of our lives!

I love you boys to infinity and beyond.

<3 Mommy <3

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

3 Months


12.8 Pounds
0-3 Month Clothes
Size 1 diapers (when not wearing fluff)
We've been breastfeeding for 14 weeks (13 when I took the pic)
You always have a smile (except that day)
You slept through the night twice!


Dear Koby Bear,

You turned 3 months old last week. On the 16th. Can you believe it?! I know I cant, time is flying by so quickly. It makes me happy. It makes me sad. In about 4.5 more months I'll be kissing you "see ya later" and the thought breaks my heart. But lets not talk about that....lets talk about everything you did during your 3rd month of life shall we.

We'll we had 2 more holidays Christmas...and New Years. We went to Yaya and Papa's house on christmas eve and had an awesome dinner and then a couple days later we did our gift exchange. I ablsolutly love the gift yaya had you and big brother make me. I'll treasure those tiny little reindeer feet forever!


For new years we didnt do anything to crazy or exciting. Infact we didnt even stay up. You fell asleep and mommy and Kason followed shortly behind you.
 
We learned this month that you sadly have bad skin problems like I do and like Kason...but for the most part Kason has grown out of his, so Im hoping you do as well. Your also so so so close to giving me a laugh. Its driving me insane cause I want to hear your giggle so bad. Your smile literally lights up the room. Your such a happy baby. You love your brother a lot too. You and Kason are always going to be best friends, I can already tell! He's always wanting to be near you.
 
 
Well heres some pictures of your 3rd month of life! Happy 3 month birthday my handsome baby boy!
 











Thursday, December 19, 2013

Placenta Encapsulation and Umbilical Cord Keepsake

As many of you know. I decided to do Placenta encapsulation after Koby was born. Absolute best descion ever! It has definetly helped me fight off the baby blues. I think I did suffer with some deprssion with the news of moving to a new unit and finding out I'll be going to Africa this summer but it could have been so much worse. When I started to feel sad I took one of my pills and within hours was feeling loads better. It also helped me heal so much quicker. I highly suggest it. Sure it sounds gross but it's amazing!





Also when you get the placenta you get the umbilical cord. When my DOULA dehydrated my placenta she also did the umbilical cord and I made this keepsake. I LOVE it. Its hanging up by the stairs in our house. Such a sweet reminder of such a sweet day. I just wish I knew about this when Kason was born.

Two Months

Dear Koby Bear,

10lbs 13oz 23.5 inches long 16in head
0-3 Month clothes
You wear fluff butt now but your a size 1 in disposables
You smile all the time
Love playing peek-a-boo with big brother.


On Monday you turned 2 months new. I just cant believe...TWO months already?! This month sure had its challenges for Mommy. She went back to work and you got to spend a couple weeks being spoiled by some friends before started daycare. You also got to meet your daddy. He had just come back from Africa. We may not be together but we hope to make things work for you. You also got to celebrate your second holiday; Thanksgiving. We spent that at your Yaya's house. We paid santa a visit this month too. You did so great with him but if your anything like your brother the next 3 years you'll probably scream when you see him...and thats ok...your still getting a picture with him. :-)



 









 
I Love you Koby Bear to the moon and Back times a thousand. I absolutly cant wait to see what the month 3 has in store for us.
 
Love Mommy


 

Boo-Boo is FOUR!!!!

Dear Boo-Boo,

You turned the BIG 4 years old on Thursday November 14th I just cant believe it! It doesnt seem like that long ago that you were born. It's been a wild 4 years and I sometimes cant believe we survived it. Your such an awesome kid...even though right now you are refusing to use the potty and getting on my last neves with it I still love you. Never forget that! This year has been an interesting one for you. I know mommy had spent most of it extra moody and probably took some of that out on you...and I am so sorry for that. I really do need to find another outlet cause sometimes I think you do get the blunt of it. Well heres what the last year has entailed for you.

 
*You were promoted to BIG BROTHER!
*We had yet another move but into a much bigger house thats 4 homes in 4 years for you.
*Right after your 3rd birthday last year you started pre-school and you LOVE it.
*Your totally brilliant...you know the alphabet can spell your name can count to at least 50 with very little correction for some reason when you forget a number you just repeat the number 15.
*Your speech has gotten so much better! It's still hard to understand you at times but your getting better.
*you LOVE books and you like to help mommy read them to you your favorites are Brown Bear Brown Bear What Do You See? and Panda Bear Panda Bear What Do You See? You often get the 2 of them confused.
*At daycare they sing "Going on a Bear Hunt" and you love to come home and sing it to mommy.
*You think your Batman
 
 
Ah kid so so much more has happened tho...I could go on and on and I'll probably add more later.
 
 
We had your party on Saturday the 16th and you had such a blast the theme was Monsters University. You had so much fun. It wasnt a huge party but we celebrated with the people who mean the most to us. Your favorite gift came from Yaya and Papa Bruce and Andrew. A Batman costume. You and Papa got in a heated argument if you were really Batman or if you were a Monkey.

In your costume.
 
Your Very Last Day as a Three year old.
 
On your birthday we dropped Koby off with Yaya and Papa and we went to IHOP to celebrate. They brought you your own Ice Cream Sunday and you told everyone you were turning 10. We had so much fun on our "date".
 
You and me on every single one of your birthdays so far.
 
You changed so much during your 4th year of life...I cant wait to see what Year 5 bring us. I love you to the moon and back my sweet boo boo. 
 

1 Month

Dear Koby Bear,

This is like a month and a half late. But I'm going to do my absolute best to do this every month. This month we celebrated 4 years of your big brother on your 1 month birthday.

1 month stats
0-3 month clothes
Size 1 diapers
9 pounds
Learned the diffrence between night and day.
Had your first holiday; Halloween!
 
Ill admit the first month having you home was pretty exhausting. Being a single mom of 2 is not an easy task but you are so so loved Koby bear. You had your first Holiday; Halloween. You were Mike Wazowski and Kason was Sully from Monsters Inc...you've already watched it a dozen times with big brother.
 

 
Your an absolute Joy and blessing sweet boy. I love you oh so much.







 
-Love Mommy


 

Friday, November 8, 2013

The Birth of Koby Lukas

39 Weeks Exactly October 14th 2013
For months I had been waking up at 2am...something about that time that Koby really liked. I always said that I thought that would be the time that I would go into labor...I was in fact correct.

2am on October 16th I was awoken by a extremely painful contraction. I however did not want to believe that it was a contraction because of all of the false alarms I had been having over the last week. So I blew it off as gas and just went to the bathroom...I think I sat in there for about 45 minutes just telling myself it was gas...while I was in there I had another contraction about 30 minutes after the first but I still said the same thing gas pains...shortly after that second one I went back into my room and layed down in my bed planning to go back to sleep. I had to be up in 2.5 hours to get ready for PT. But sleep never happened. Instead I spent the next 2.5 hours in pain every 20-30 minutes. But I still planned to go about my day normally...this wasnt the first time I had contractions 20 or 30 minutes apart they eventually would always just go away. As I was getting myself dressed and Kason dressed they started to feel different. I went ahead and dropped Kason off at daycare and told him I loved him. He gave me an extra big hug that morning and when I asked him what that was for he told me "mommy koby coming soon". I smiled and gave him a kiss and walked out still not fully believing I might be in Early labor.

The last picture of Kason and I before Koby was born Oct 16th.
It was around 6am right when I pulled up to Sturgis Field (where we were doing PT that morning) that I got an extremely intense contraction. I thought ok maybe I'll text Amanda (my fabulous Doula) and just give her a heads up about what was going on just to be on the safe side. Shortly after I sent that text though I got out of my car and went on to do PT. The next contraction came at around 630 and the only reason I knew the time is because that is when the flag goes off. That was pretty hard. Just standing there and saluting when I really wanted to be slouched over of the railing of the stairs that I was next to. All through out PT I was in pain. Contraction after contraction about 15-20 minutes apart by that point. After PT I went home and got ready for work. I kept in touch with Amanda through out the morning just updating her. I knew that something had to be going on by 8:45 tho the intensity of each contraction kept getting worse and worse sometimes I'd catch a break tho and get a light one. But I knew I wouldnt make through the entire work day...I was trying to at least make it to my Dr's appointment at 11:40 that morning. I told Amanda I was going to try to get a note to get out of work for the rest of the day.

Well 11:40 came and my contractions where at about 15 minutes apart exactly by then. I told Dr. Long what had been going on all morning and I asked him if he could sweep my membranes to pick things up some. He went ahead and checked me; I was 4cm, my cervix was really really soft and he told that he couldnt sweep my membranes cause they were already detached. Thats when I knew I was going to be holding a baby really really soon. Even Dr. Long told me that he would be shocked if he didnt see me coming back up to Labor and Delivery by that night or early morning the next day.

I sent Amanda a text just before 12 and told her what the Dr said and said that I was going to talk to my NCO to see if I could go home (as Dr. Long wouldnt give me a note) and asked her to come to my house as soon as I did get off. After Dr. Long had checked me my contractions where suddenly 12 minutes apart and about 30-45 seconds long some even a minute. I had to wait about an hour and a half for my NCO to come back from lunch and that was hard. I sat in my car most of the time and played Candy Crush and Pet saga trying to keep my mind off of the contractions. When she did return she asked me to do one last thing before leaving. Took me about 20 minutes to do but as soon as I got it done I was out! I sent Amanda another text telling her I was on my way home around 1:50. By that point my contractions had grown even closer...anywhere between 5-8 minutes. Before I went home I stopped at Viviennes house and I gave her Kason's car seat so she could get him from daycare. I knew I wasnt going to make it.

Know this is where I stopped keeping track of everything so my timeline on things might be a little off.

Amanda got to my house around 245 I think. I was already upstairs in my room using my labor ball. I continued to use it for about another 20 minutes or so and then Amanda suggested getting in the bath tub. Which I loved that idea. I got in my nice garden tub and stayed in there pretty much until I ran out of hott water. The water made managing contractions so much easier. I didnt want to get out but I also didnt want to sit in cold water. So I told Amanda I wanted to go to the hospital. I wanted to sit in their tub. I want to say it was somewhere between 4 and 430 that we got there and I prayed for the room with the tub to opened the whole drive down there. As soon as we got there I was able to get checked in and into the exam room pretty quickly. I spent about 45 minutes in there. The midwife came in and checked me. I was at 5cm, 80% effaced, and -1 station. My contractions where about every 5 minutes. I was definetly in labor.

Right before they Checked me.
Right after it was confirmed that I was in Labor;
waiting on my room.
 Shortly after I made it to my room. They told me they would have to draw some blood and because I was GBS positive I would have to get my first round of antibiotics as soon as I got in there. Well it took 3 people to finally find a vain. I was not even a little bit amused with all the needle sticking they did.

After they finally got all of that started and done I got to sit on the labor ball while I waited for them to get the tub ready for me. I was beyond ready to just get in. I really have no sense of time at all at this point. But as soon as I got in the tub I was able to spend about 2 hours in it before they wanted me out so they could check me and Koby again.
Mid-Contraction
While I was in the tub my photographer/2nd Doula KayLee came. I had originally hired Tammy from Little Leapling Photography to come and photograph my birth. Unfornutaly she had a family emergency and was out of town for a couple of days. But KayLee came to my rescue. I had actually met her a couple times previsouly at the Manhattan Birth Circle meetings that I had attended. She had at one point volunteered to be a back up photographer for Tammy since she had the same camera. she is not a "proffesional" photographer but she did take some AMAZING pictures and Little Leapling did the editing on them. Anyways back to my labor...

As soon as KayLee got in she was able to catch some AMAZING pictures of me and Amanda breathing through contractions together;


 
As I said before I got to spend about 2 glorious hours of my labor in the Tub. No one came in and bugged me or asked me for drugs or anything. It was just me Amanda and KayLee in the room. KayLee actually ended up Doulaing for me as well as taking pictures. I was so happy to have extra hands to squeeze the crap out of. :) When the nurse finally did come in and ask me to get out I knew I had to be pretty close. I was in transistion. The contractions were way more intense, closer together and they felt like they lasted for HOURS rather than just minutes. I was in some serious serious pain. When I got on the bed and the dr came in I was at 8cm and it was then that my water broke. YAY!!!! I thought...Koby was almost here. After being monitored for about 15 minutes I choose to go in the shower with the Labor ball. I was doing ok at first but then the contractions got real...and I was crying out for Drugs! Although I made sure to mention I didnt want an epidural I just wanted some other form of Pain Drugs...I was so ready to thrown in the towel. I kept yelling "I cant do this, I cant do this" But both Amanda and KayLee continued to remind me that I was doing it...which really helped a lot.  




It was just before 11 that I felt the urge to push. The nurse had actually come in to tell me that I was time for my next round of antibiotics anyways. So I got out of the shower and somehow managed to make it back to the bed. Where they had set up the squating bar for me. They hooked me up with more antibiotics and I got up there and squated determined to get Koby out. But in between each squat I screamed "I cant do this, just cut me open" quite a few times...but KayLee and Amanda where there the whole time reminding me that I WAS doing it.




After squating 3 times the room suddenly got really crazy...one nursing was holding a towel underneath me while they got the stirups ready, another was yelling for the Dr to get in there and it seemed like a ton of people had just suddenly rushed into my room. I wasnt really paying attention to how many people I had my eyes shut pretty much the entire time...I was getting that baby out! I heard people keep telling me that he was crowning and to just keep pushing. And I did with everything I had in me...I had a HUGE adrenaline rush and before I knew it I heard Koby Lukas' sweet cry and everyone was saying how beautiful he was. Within seconds of his 11:15pm arrival I was snuggling my sweet beautiful baby boy.




Never in my life had I been more proud of myself. I brought this beautiful boy into this world on October 16th 2013 at 11:15 PM. He weighed in at a 8lbs 13.8oz and 21in. I did it completely drug free and Natural. Most rewearding feeling ever! The second happiest day of my life. Big brother Kasons birthday was a pretty joyful day too.

After his birth we spent tons of time just snuggling and trying to nurse. We struggled some with latching but realized later the my milk just didnt come in until after we left the hospital. After sometime I decided I just had to take a shower. I felt way to gross to be laying down So Koby hung out with Amanda and KayLee. 




 
After my shower we got setteled in our new room down the hall and tried to rest. Although Koby slept pretty well mommy was pumped up on way to much adrenline to sleep. I couldnt believe I had just brought this boy into the world only hours ago. I couldnt believe that I worked during half my labor. The entire day was just unbelievable and beautiful! A day that I will never ever forget nor do I want to.
 
 
And that ladies and gentleman is the story of Koby Lukas' birth.
 
My Sweet Boys
 
 
 
Now before I end this blog I want to tell you all something. Having a Doula or should I say Doula's with me throughout my labor was invaluable. I dont think I could have made it through an all natural delivery without them. I feel beyond blessed to have had Amanda and KayLee there with me and they will BOTH hold a special place in my heart forever! So if you are a reader and you are pregnant or planning to get pregnant. I highly reccomened having a Doula with you, and if your in Kansas I HIGHLY reccomend either Amanda or KayLee...or BOTH! You can find Amanda's facebook page Everyone Deserves A Doula here or KayLee's here Treasured Moments Birth Doula, KayLee also has a website that you can check out Treasured Moments Birth Services and that will actually lead you to a blog she wrote about Koby's birth too. Now if you you really want to remember your birth I also highly suggest having a birth photographer...and if your in Kansas Tammy from Little Leapling is the person you should talk to.

 “Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers ~ strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength.” - Barbara Katz Rothman